and it had to ben an EMO post. well this is the best place to pour out my thoughts, since i don’t feel like telling anyone and they don’t read my blog (plus point!!)
firstly I have no idea when but i start to realise that I stopped being pro-active and willing to help others to do small errands. I feel like I am dragging my feet every time, but this is exactly what I didn’t want myself to become like. i need to change this habit, but i think first i need to straighten out my thoughts.
this issue has been troubling me and after that day, it got me thinking even more about whether i still want to run. i suddenly feel that all i want to do is help the clubs and improve relationship which is what a LD does. vision … remain the same as this year.. i just can’t seem to be able to put it into words. even if i had prepared much more for the interview, i would still say the same way. i guess persuasion is a problem for me. honestly what else do we do then ensuring that their events run relatively smoothly, help them source for funds if possible, ensure they do not cross the guidelines, encourage collaborative and cluster event. in essence, ensure the club’s sustainability and operations adn ensure cohesiveness amongst the clubs in the cluster, which will slowly work to the cohesiveness amongst all the clubs in SICS.
they also mentioned about commitment and i don’t blame them for saying that i over-commit and may want to consider my commit level in other activities. but i don’t want to let go of my personal involvement in some club activities and iConserve. i mean for me it depends on the working relationship i have in the upcoming committees, and i am likely to want to be actively involved. if taking up a top5 role means forgoing all this commitment…
i would choose to drop the top 5 role, even a co-opt role, and continue my involvement in all the other activities. coz sticking with one is too mundane and i know that i can multi-task, i just don’t know how to convince people.
but i feel bad if i quit now. leaving the clubs with 5 choices is perfectly fine to me. but i feel that i will be letting down the people who encouraged me to run for the next exco. maybe my mum was right. i shouldn’t have run for it in the first place.
now i really wish i have a day off from everything. thankfully gwen booked mi for a full day.