Am I blessed?

From young, I have always gotten what I wanted. Of course within purchasing means. I do not have excellence grades in academics. I have, what my mum always says, “stock market” grades but does not go below the passing mark. I am perfectly fine  with the grades that I get at national examination and happy that I got into the schools that I wanted (top 3 choices). However I must admit that I do worry that I might not get a better-than-decent paying job that can help to take some burden of my parents and relatives. My dream job is to work in social sector, being a counsellor or organising community work. I can do it for the rest of my life!

But i think in reality … it is really hard. People might think that I am just using my sister’s education fees and my loans as an excuse that I would need to get a high paying job to cover the expenses before getting started on what I want to do. I feel as long as I know why I am doing it this way and how I am doing it, I don’t have to care about what others say. I agree that I am a tiny bit naive and think only the best of all situations, but why complicate matters? I really want a simple life and not having to plot or manipulate others to achieve my goal.

I think my family also makes thing really easy for me by helping out in all possible means. When I need someone to vet my emails or speeches, my mum and dad would always put down whatever they are doing and help me out. My aunts and uncles would help me when i need a vehicle for traveling or getting certain contacts for my projects. My sister is always really to come and help me whenever I need an extra helping hand for my projects. My cousins just seem to have the solutions or alternatives to my problems. Though my grandma is not able to help physically, but she gives me a lot of moral support (without her even knowing) as I see how concerned she is with everything that happens in the whole family, big or small.

I am really thankful and feel extremely blessed. I know that I am extremely short-tempered to them and yet they are still willing to forget it and help me. I think shot-temperedness runs in the females in my family. FORGIVE AND FORGET. The main principle I live by. It is helps makes life simple and more enjoyable. I believe my family live my the same principle. I will always remember how my cousin, my sister and I will fight, and within the next minute we will behave like nothing happened at all.

On a side note, I constantly feel a need to behave differently when I am with my family and when I am with my friends. Over the years, I realise that I only show my short-temperedness or rant excessively to people who I feel really really close to and even comfortable to share secrets that I keep bottled up. I become very aware of that I need a lot, and I do mean a lot, of emotional support to feel comfortable in a relationship. I think i start to use this as a gauge on how much i value the relationship. I do hope the person on the receiving end is not irritated.

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